Love God, Love Others, Serve the World...

May 28, 2009

Enjoying Your Child's World

One way to honor our children is to enjoy them with their own interests in mind. You may think that's pretty easy. After all, you've been enjoying your children for years. But many parents, after careful examination, discover that they're enjoying themselves and inviting their children to join in. Often parents determine the conversation topics, the entertainment choices, or the outing destinations. Parents make choices they think will please their children, but in reality, they're loving their children in ways that they themselves would like to be loved.

One day when my (Scott) children were young, I told them that they could each have a half hour of my time during which I would play whatever they wanted. Melissa, at four years old, chose playing with dolls. I never realized how long a half hour was! We must have explored everything that one doll could say to another. I also learned that dressing a doll is like trying to put an octopus in a string bag. You just get one part in and something else falls off. I realized then that I often choose to enjoy my children according to my own needs and interests instead of theirs.

Do you know your child's favorite color, foods, or friends? Many children are willing to join in with their parents' plans and the family ends up having a lot of fun together. But focusing on a child's interests and topics of conversation can be a good way to show honor. This is especially important with teens. Listening to their music, allowing them to teach you how to play a computer game, or just having a discussion about something they like offers connecting points that parent/child relationships need. The skill of enjoying children according to their needs and interests is one way of honoring kids and expressing to them that they're valuable.

This tip comes from the book, Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids by Dr Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.